The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers.
DOB | Unavailable | Constructed out of faulty spare parts in Central Europe. | Paperwork lost due to Communist Party officials’ nepotism. |
Sex | Female | Disclaimer: | Aggressive tendencies when behind the wheel of a motor vehicle. Faulty gene passed down through the father. |
Parentage | Mother | Czech | |
Father | German | Leaving me somewhat confused. | |
Education | Year 1-6 | Quasi Communist School in Central Europe | Communist tendencies NONE! |
Year 7-12 | Semi-expensive private school-Sydney | Managed a HSC pass and little else | |
Tertiary Ed | BEc | Lessons learned: being informed at the end of my first Semester that attending lectures was not necessary, but handing in the occasional work was mandatory. | |
Work History | Juvenile Jobs: | Executive Beer Manager- Thurles Castle | This high-class establishment was world-renowned for providing local Universities with cadavers of ex-patrons who valiantly laid down their lives for research into excessive alcohol consumption. |
Director of Driveway Fuel Service | The annoying female who never purchased any fuel, but always arrived at the busiest period, could be politely nudged to take her business elsewhere by pumping each of her tyres to 70 psi. When confronted with a driver of a depilated VW Bug who insists that you must add some water to the radiator, first check that it is not the mechanics that are having you on. Then check for any recording equipment to ensure that the media students are not filming. Then just open the front bonnet and empty a bucket of water into the general vicinity of the front bumper. Close the bonnet. Give the driver the thumbs up and send him on his way. | ||
Grown-up jobs | Short Term Money Market Dealer. | Gordon Gekko has a lot to answer for. And I sucked at the job. | |
Information Technology | Don’t ask, must have taken a wrong turn in Albuquerque. | ||
Shell Australia | Learned to fear scorpions more than spiders. | Did not realise we have scorpions in Australia. | |
Ocean Gas Shipping, and owners’ passion and ownership of The Bounty. | Ran away and joined the pirates. | After a few years, the pirates sent me back. | |
APEC2007 | No, you can’t blame me for the fences or the cops. I deal with technology and cops are the squidgy ones. |
Learned that you should not work with the Public Service and everybody at ASIO is called Bob Smith. (Must be very confusing for the receptionist.) | |
World of Big Finance | I am happy to report that I have avoided every CIO/CEO/CTO/CFO “Hug In” to date. This is a heroic effort, and one I plan to finesse even further. | ||
Hobbies | Shoes | The more uncomfortable, expensive, but fabulous looking, the better | |
Cars | Nothing to add, really | ||
Endearing qualities | Control Freak Introverted Unsociable |
Favourite saying – Be reasonable and do things My Way! | |
Bad Habits | Too many to mention | ||
Hopes for the future | Cars | Learn that 1, 3 & 5 gear are not the same. When coming out of the pits at Wakefield, 1st, followed by 2nd gear will stop Boz from clutching his head and moaning quietly. More recently, NOT so quietly. | |
Credit Cards | Keep my credit cards under control. Who am I kidding? | ||
Shoes | I live in hope that when I reach maturity, I will not subjected to a fate worse than death, i.e., be reduced to “Comfortable Shoes”. | ||
Social Media | Yes, after a night out with friends, where one or two alcoholic beverages were consumed, this was such a great idea. One that I regretted ever since. Have three followers and log on regularly every five years. | ||
Yes, heavily censored by yours truly. | |||
When Hell Freezes Over. |