Holiday made in heaven. A few years ago, I was lucky enough to be able to have a holiday that I will remember for a very long time. Arrived in London on the usual early morning Qantas flight. Staggered out of the plane looking much worse for wear—and I’d been sitting in the pointy end. Heaven help Heathrow staff if I ever get out of economy. They might have to shoot me to stop me scaring people.

Rusty picked me up, or more likely spotted the walking dead and decided that I was about the right height, sex and looked vaguely familiar, and deposited me in my hotel in next to no time. I love London, but it sometimes gets a little bit creepy when he drives through the park and around Tyburn Hill as I am reminded of all the people who were executed there. I read that some of the old sayings originate from this area. Such as ‘one for the road’— this refers exactly to that, as men would pass a drink to the condemned on their ways to the gallows.

Sorry, got side-tracked. Shower, change of clothes, hair done and a quick walk through the park and I was in Mayfair. Made sure that Harrods, Selfridges and Harvey Nichols were still there, something to eat, little bit of retail therapy, back to the hotel and crash. Next morning, Brooklands. Why anybody in their right mind would let me behind the wheel of the newly-released Gull Wing SLS Mercedes is beyond me, but they did. Boy did I have fun. I had no idea how long before they usually had to change tyres, but I guessed about once a day. If not, then certainly after my attempt. The instructor allocated to me was lovely and very relaxed. The fact that he remained that way after spending hours with me remains a mystery. My crowning glory in stupidity was when an E-Class AMG came on the race track at the same time and I had to go and chase him. Let’s just say that the air wing popped up whilst I was cornering. It took me a while to get the car under control with the help of the instructor. He then looked at me and told me to relax. I had not realised, but I was so tense that I could actually feel the carpet fibres through my shoes. Instructor and car were returned in near perfect condition, and I made my way back to my hotel grinning like the Cheshire Cat.