Only 307 sleeps to go

My own faulty really. I told my friends about ordering the new CLA45 AMG and the subsequent “waiting period of 12 months.” Needless to say, they are all milking it for what it’s worth. Promises and threats of sending me emails with a daily countdown became reality, so the delete button is now my most trusted ally.

One friend who shares my birth place pointed out that in the old Eastern Block when it was under the Communist regime, you had to bribe officials to only have to wait seven years for your new car. We are not talking about custom- made cars here; this is how long it took for delivery of a new Trabant or Skoda Octavia, and this is before Skoda was brought out by VW. We are talking about cars that would fall apart before they left the factory. Spare parts had the value of saffron spice and were just as readily available. My Teutonic grandfather’s favourite joke went like this: Mr Novak saves the required 50% deposit for his Trabant, plus supplies the required under- the-table bribe to assorted communist party officials to secure his place in the queue. The following month he receives an official letter advising him of the date he can collect his new car, say 28th February, seven years in the future. In panic, he runs to the official’s home to ask if he can delay the pick-up by a day. The official looks at him sternly and reminds him of the trouble it took to secure this date and asks what is so important that he cannot pick up his new car on the allocated day? Mr Novak nervously replies that he cannot be available on the 28th February seven years in the future because the plumber is booked on the same day.

Did I mention that you did not even get to select the colour of your new car and the only extra was a radio that was usually stuck on the government propaganda station? Think George Orwell’s 1984.

For me this whole thing is not exactly any heartache. I have a beautiful car anyway, so about 307 days until the new one arrives is not going to kill me. Plus, my plumber is available whenever I need him. However, I see that the delete button on my keyboard may wear out before long.